I just remembered what my friends and I have done during our secondary school days. It was fun. We call it "Change nouns in movie titles to Penis!" Hahahaa! Nothing much to elaborate on but just for pure fun and entertainment.
Before I start churning out tons of aphrodisiacal movie titles which will make you feel "high", I want to say that all changes made to the movie titles does not have any meaning to discriminate or be a racist joke. Neither is it sexist. Also to let everyone know that I did not create this post because I am pervertic,(Although all my friends say so. What can a guy do when he is blessed with a more extensive knowledge about sex anyways?) but just for pure fun of it! So do consider before you start commenting how stupid I am again. Feel free to add more movie titles to the comment page.
Here goes!
1. Mr and Mrs Penis (Mr and Mrs Smith)
2. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of The Penis (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of The Sith
3. A lot like Penis (A lot like love)
4. Penis Almighty (Bruce Almighty)
5. Penis and the Beast (Beauty and the Beast)
6. The Penis King (The Lion King)
7. Black Penis Down[No racism here.] (Black Hawk Down)
8. Vertical Penis (Vertical Limit) [Imagine if the title was Horizontal Limit. Hahaha!]
9. Penis Begins (Batman Begins)
10. The Hitchhiker guide to the Penis (The Hitchhiker guide to the Galaxy)
11. Meet the Penis (Meet the Fockers)
12. Little Penis (Little Mermaid)
13. Penis in Black (Men in Black) [Again, No tinge of racism here.]
14. House of Penis (House of Fury)
15. Lord of the Penis (Lord of the Ring)
16. Harry(Hairy) Penis (Harry Potter) [I particularly like this.]
17. Saving Private Penis (Saving Private Ryan)
18. Scary Penis (Scary Movie)
19. House of Penis (House of Wax)
20. Along Came Penis (Along Came polly)
21. War of The Penis (War of The Worlds)
22. Penis vs. Predator (Alien vs. Predator) [Works either way.]
23. Finding Penis (Finding Nemo)
24. Snow White and the Seven Penis (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
25. Dude! Where's My Penis?! (Dude! Where's My Car?!)
Haha! I'll stop here. Do add more! Let it carry on! I am sure more movie titles can be changed!
Let us all play "Change nouns in movie titles to penis" game! It sure is fun!
Back from Malaysia at last!
It has been a long weekend for me. Holidays just wheezed passed me as though it has never came before. It was filled with projects and more projects. What more can I say? The only time I spent relaxing over the so called "holiday" was when I was either sleeping or during the time in Genting, Malaysia. Let us not fret over some small disturbance on whether I am having a good holiday or not.
This time rather, returning from Genting, I have done so many things. Mostly eating actually. Haha! So putting on weight is inevitable, but fear not! I am sure I am able to lose weight!
To all those who have not gone to Genting, Malaysia in a long time, there are tons of new restaurants now! Let me see if I can name a few.
The best that I have gone to was The Olive. It was the most expensive one too. Sigh~! But it was worth it as the food there was superb! I ate the T-Bone steak. Let me see if I could describe my dish in a more descriptive manner.
The plate was placed in front of me and when I first caught a glimpse of it, all I could see was the huge steak that had a glistering brown sauce smeared over it. Not forgetting to mention the fresh looking greens that also filled the plate with it. It was so fresh that you would almost think they plucked it right out of their garden and just served it right there and then. As I took my fork and knife, the scent of steak cooked to perfection entered my nostrils. Not hesitating any second longer, my knife went through the steak like a hot knife through butter. It was so tender! It's succelent meat. Ah~ How nice it was!
Ok! Did I make all of you drool? Haha! Anyways, it really is nice! Check out the link to that restaurant anyways. Not forgetting the wine. It was also very nice!
Another restaurant is Ming Ren. This restaurant specialty is Lamb. Yes yes. Qian Bei. I know what you are going to say. But the dish I like best has nothing to do with Lamb at all.(Although the lamb isn't that bad at all.) My favourite dish was the stir fried brinjals with garlic. My gosh! That dish is heavenly! The brinjal was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside! What more can you ask? Haha! This restaurant comes a little expensive also.
There are still so many other restaurants. Do go there and try! Shan't talk about the theme park. It is boring as usual. Arcade? The games are so old that they should be sent to the museum. Only thing I did to pass my time was to play pool! Haha!
Alas! Happy time has to end and we were homeward bound on Sunday. The most "suayest" thing happened during the way home. The bus broke down by the road side and we were stranded in the middle of Malaysia. For fucking five hours we were being stranded and helpless. Stupid bus company should have called for a substitute bus when the bus broke down instead of repairing it for like fucking 2 hours before announcing that it cannot be repaired and then start to call for another bus. In the end we had to wait for a whole five hours before we were rescued!
Sigh~! School has started and project deadlines are killing me! What to do? I know all JC students are having their mid-year now. Do work hard and good luck! You'll need it!
Sorry I do not have pics. Have not uploaded it yet. Looks like someone still does not know the truth. I don't blame you. But you should seriously do some soul searching yourself. I did mine. What about you? Still running from it?
This time rather, returning from Genting, I have done so many things. Mostly eating actually. Haha! So putting on weight is inevitable, but fear not! I am sure I am able to lose weight!
To all those who have not gone to Genting, Malaysia in a long time, there are tons of new restaurants now! Let me see if I can name a few.
The best that I have gone to was The Olive. It was the most expensive one too. Sigh~! But it was worth it as the food there was superb! I ate the T-Bone steak. Let me see if I could describe my dish in a more descriptive manner.
The plate was placed in front of me and when I first caught a glimpse of it, all I could see was the huge steak that had a glistering brown sauce smeared over it. Not forgetting to mention the fresh looking greens that also filled the plate with it. It was so fresh that you would almost think they plucked it right out of their garden and just served it right there and then. As I took my fork and knife, the scent of steak cooked to perfection entered my nostrils. Not hesitating any second longer, my knife went through the steak like a hot knife through butter. It was so tender! It's succelent meat. Ah~ How nice it was!
Ok! Did I make all of you drool? Haha! Anyways, it really is nice! Check out the link to that restaurant anyways. Not forgetting the wine. It was also very nice!
Another restaurant is Ming Ren. This restaurant specialty is Lamb. Yes yes. Qian Bei. I know what you are going to say. But the dish I like best has nothing to do with Lamb at all.(Although the lamb isn't that bad at all.) My favourite dish was the stir fried brinjals with garlic. My gosh! That dish is heavenly! The brinjal was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside! What more can you ask? Haha! This restaurant comes a little expensive also.
There are still so many other restaurants. Do go there and try! Shan't talk about the theme park. It is boring as usual. Arcade? The games are so old that they should be sent to the museum. Only thing I did to pass my time was to play pool! Haha!
Alas! Happy time has to end and we were homeward bound on Sunday. The most "suayest" thing happened during the way home. The bus broke down by the road side and we were stranded in the middle of Malaysia. For fucking five hours we were being stranded and helpless. Stupid bus company should have called for a substitute bus when the bus broke down instead of repairing it for like fucking 2 hours before announcing that it cannot be repaired and then start to call for another bus. In the end we had to wait for a whole five hours before we were rescued!
Sigh~! School has started and project deadlines are killing me! What to do? I know all JC students are having their mid-year now. Do work hard and good luck! You'll need it!
Sorry I do not have pics. Have not uploaded it yet. Looks like someone still does not know the truth. I don't blame you. But you should seriously do some soul searching yourself. I did mine. What about you? Still running from it?
I am tired... I really am...
I know you will never visit this page. Neither would you have any reason to do so. That is why I can say almost everything in here. I am tired. Who isn't? I am sure you are tired too. No matter how much help or attention I have given you, you never seem to respond. It is like showing affection to a wooden doll. How difficult can it be to really say a nice thank you to a person? How difficult can it be to really take some of your time to nicely talk to a person? I very much doubt it is difficult.
The things I have done for you, hopes I have placed in you has all been dashed in that one moment when you did not even give me a chance to say anything. I did have a responsibility for the turtles. However, does it mean that even a thank you is not reqiured? Not only you did not thank me but just hung up the phone on me and did not even give me a chance to speak. What is the meaning of that? I have always thought you as a person who cares a great big deal about other people feelings. Now it seems like I am not a great judge of men.
Up till now, I could never understand the reason behind our parting. You have never given me an answer at all. You left me hanging to answer that myself. What was I supposed to do? Only you knew the answer and yet you do not tell it to me. Or was our parting due to that you got tired of playing around with me and that is why I do not have a reason for our parting? Questions! All I have are these. When are you going to give me answers? I want to know!
Ever noticed why someone do not go after you for 100 bucks now?
P.S: I am leaving for Malaysia tonight. Will be back by sunday! I promise lots of pictures... If I am in the mood to capture them. Haha! Do take care until then! Do come back here to check even when I am away. I might blog in Genting itself.
The things I have done for you, hopes I have placed in you has all been dashed in that one moment when you did not even give me a chance to say anything. I did have a responsibility for the turtles. However, does it mean that even a thank you is not reqiured? Not only you did not thank me but just hung up the phone on me and did not even give me a chance to speak. What is the meaning of that? I have always thought you as a person who cares a great big deal about other people feelings. Now it seems like I am not a great judge of men.
Up till now, I could never understand the reason behind our parting. You have never given me an answer at all. You left me hanging to answer that myself. What was I supposed to do? Only you knew the answer and yet you do not tell it to me. Or was our parting due to that you got tired of playing around with me and that is why I do not have a reason for our parting? Questions! All I have are these. When are you going to give me answers? I want to know!
Ever noticed why someone do not go after you for 100 bucks now?
P.S: I am leaving for Malaysia tonight. Will be back by sunday! I promise lots of pictures... If I am in the mood to capture them. Haha! Do take care until then! Do come back here to check even when I am away. I might blog in Genting itself.
That's what friends are for...
Feeling low from what has happened. Nope. No one needs to know. However, it inspired me to write this. Kinda unexpected. It is gonna be a emotional entry once more. Who cares even though I am writing a composition here? I just do not want to bottle up all my emotions! It hurts so badly that it rips me apart just thinking about it.
What are friends? Someone who is just there and you acknowledges him as a friend? Or someone one who is more intimate with you mentally? I would choose the latter.
My friends have taught me lots of things. Be it close friends or friends who I am ok with. They are people from all walks of life. Each one of them means a lot to me. No matter how much my love for them may be, it would still never be enough. None of them deserve more or less. All of them are equal in my eyes. All so beautiful and precious. Only one word can describe them. Wonderful!
I have my bad points. Still they chose to stick through thick and thin with me. Fend for me and fight with me! What more can I ask? I repay them by doing the same. I love and honour them. I do my utmost best whenever they need help. Yet I feel I still owe them a lot more because what they have done for me, is something that money can never ever buy!
Sometimes I get into an irritating mood, no one bothered to tell me to grow up. In fact they played along with me, giving in to me. With friends like this, what more can I ask for?
Sometimes I ask myself.
"What would I sacrifice for love?"
I did soul searching for that question. I daringly say now that I would sacrifice evrything! Even if it is my life! My love will be unconditional. I would give everything to the one I love. So what has this got to do with friends?
I love my friends! As much as I would love my future wife. They mean almost everything to me. So what would I sacrifice for friendship? You all only need one guess. No one can live alone in this world. How much I agree to that. It is my friends that fills up the hollow part of me. No longer do I feel empty and lonely anymore. My friends have such patience to hear me out whenever I am down. Lifting me up whenever I need help.
No matter how much I can give them, it would still never be enough because my life is my friends and my friends is my life! Losing them would mean my life! I love all of them! Thank you so much! You have played a role in my life! My debt to all of you is endless. So I will lend a helping hand like you all did to me when I was down. I do not expect returns cos' you all have given me enough. It is my turn now.
Friends are people on the same boat rowing towards the same destination. Love and honour them!
What are friends? Someone who is just there and you acknowledges him as a friend? Or someone one who is more intimate with you mentally? I would choose the latter.
My friends have taught me lots of things. Be it close friends or friends who I am ok with. They are people from all walks of life. Each one of them means a lot to me. No matter how much my love for them may be, it would still never be enough. None of them deserve more or less. All of them are equal in my eyes. All so beautiful and precious. Only one word can describe them. Wonderful!
I have my bad points. Still they chose to stick through thick and thin with me. Fend for me and fight with me! What more can I ask? I repay them by doing the same. I love and honour them. I do my utmost best whenever they need help. Yet I feel I still owe them a lot more because what they have done for me, is something that money can never ever buy!
Sometimes I get into an irritating mood, no one bothered to tell me to grow up. In fact they played along with me, giving in to me. With friends like this, what more can I ask for?
Sometimes I ask myself.
"What would I sacrifice for love?"
I did soul searching for that question. I daringly say now that I would sacrifice evrything! Even if it is my life! My love will be unconditional. I would give everything to the one I love. So what has this got to do with friends?
I love my friends! As much as I would love my future wife. They mean almost everything to me. So what would I sacrifice for friendship? You all only need one guess. No one can live alone in this world. How much I agree to that. It is my friends that fills up the hollow part of me. No longer do I feel empty and lonely anymore. My friends have such patience to hear me out whenever I am down. Lifting me up whenever I need help.
No matter how much I can give them, it would still never be enough because my life is my friends and my friends is my life! Losing them would mean my life! I love all of them! Thank you so much! You have played a role in my life! My debt to all of you is endless. So I will lend a helping hand like you all did to me when I was down. I do not expect returns cos' you all have given me enough. It is my turn now.
Friends are people on the same boat rowing towards the same destination. Love and honour them!
Do parents scold you with logic?
Before I start rattling on on how logicless my dad is, I wanna confess something! To the people who went to so called Jie Yi's party, I lied! I am not on level three... In actual fact, I am on level five! Sorry! I just didn't have the courage for telling the truth! So slap me! I know I am a sickass bastard who knows no shame, but just forgive me yeah? It is kinda difficult telling so many people the truth...
My dad.
Ever used the handphone while walking? Be it smsing or calling, I am sure you are still alert of the surroundings around you. That was exactly what I did this morning while walking with my dad. My dad got so fed up, he started scolding me. Oblivious that he was actually talking to me, I got a even harsher scolding in the end.
My dad has this strict rule when it comes to sitting position in the car. If you are out alone with him, you must sit up in front with him. Or else it will look like he is chauffering you instead. As if the scolding isn't bad enough, I have to sit up front beside him in the car. As usual, he started talking why I shouldn't use the phone while walking because I might end up getting knocked down by a car. And he started to rattle onto how important is it that I have to use the phone even while walking. Was I closing an important deal that involves a million dollars?
I was on the verge of shouting into his ear, YES! However I reconsidered that it wasn't safe cos' he is liable to just swing his palm across my cheek. I just kept quiet throughout the way home. I thought he would just stop there and not rattle on anymore, but heck no! This time he said how important a message can be? How ironic when he said that.
I remembered once not replying to one of his sms and he called and scolded me over that phone. What the hell?! Why do parents always contradict themselves? So their smses are more important and my friend's aren't? Plus the sms was about school project! So you want your son to fail and then you scold him for not being hardworking? When can't they just think?!
So fed up! Cannot be bothered to carry on. He just continued scolding me and digressing and talked about how lucky I am to be born in Singapore.
Logic! I want to hear scoldings with logic in it! Try not to be so stupid and contradict yourself next time.
My dad.
Ever used the handphone while walking? Be it smsing or calling, I am sure you are still alert of the surroundings around you. That was exactly what I did this morning while walking with my dad. My dad got so fed up, he started scolding me. Oblivious that he was actually talking to me, I got a even harsher scolding in the end.
My dad has this strict rule when it comes to sitting position in the car. If you are out alone with him, you must sit up in front with him. Or else it will look like he is chauffering you instead. As if the scolding isn't bad enough, I have to sit up front beside him in the car. As usual, he started talking why I shouldn't use the phone while walking because I might end up getting knocked down by a car. And he started to rattle onto how important is it that I have to use the phone even while walking. Was I closing an important deal that involves a million dollars?
I was on the verge of shouting into his ear, YES! However I reconsidered that it wasn't safe cos' he is liable to just swing his palm across my cheek. I just kept quiet throughout the way home. I thought he would just stop there and not rattle on anymore, but heck no! This time he said how important a message can be? How ironic when he said that.
I remembered once not replying to one of his sms and he called and scolded me over that phone. What the hell?! Why do parents always contradict themselves? So their smses are more important and my friend's aren't? Plus the sms was about school project! So you want your son to fail and then you scold him for not being hardworking? When can't they just think?!
So fed up! Cannot be bothered to carry on. He just continued scolding me and digressing and talked about how lucky I am to be born in Singapore.
Logic! I want to hear scoldings with logic in it! Try not to be so stupid and contradict yourself next time.
Bomb jokes...
I couldn't help but notice this picture taken by my dad on his diving trip. You would almost think that there is an Osama in every plane nowadays. Hahaha!
How to catch a pervert and the adventures of Qian Bei, Wei Xin and Desmond
Fei Fei and Hai Xiang: Aloha! Before Wei Xin kor kor starts on this post, we would like to tell you that this post contains explicit pictures and contain gory pictures. Parental guidence is advised. Some part of this post is also classified as NC16. So people under sixteen, please move your cursor to the top right of this window and click the cross. Thank you! Because Conrad is having some family problems, he is not here today. We are really sorry for his absence.
Thank you my two MCs. Indeed this post is the long awaited by many. The post that is gonna change the fate of my blog! ( I don't think it will but I am saying it for the dramatics. ) So long has passed since we last talked about Sebastian. I remembered clearly where we left off. After that incident which my friend had, we decided to contact Sebastian once more and try to trick him. A plan was diviced.
The first stage of the plan was to get someone to hook him up and started to chat with him. I had the honour of doing that, so I created a yahoo account and downloaded yahoo messenger so that I could hook up with him. I was feeling kind of excited and all because this whole project will enable us to meet him if everything goes smoothly.
So that night, I posed as a girl and messaged him in the net. I never knew that hooking him up would be so easy. Once I got to spoke to him, I realised that it was not as easy as I thought it would be.
This was the very first conversation we had.
From that conversation, you can realise that our objective was to dig out as much information about himself and not let him know who we are. Also, there is a tiny hint of me trying to potray that I love playing hard to get. That was to ensure that I do not reveal too much of myself and next time when we chat, I would most probably in control. One thing though, I never realised I could be so slutty on the net. Maybe I should start being a woman instead. Hahahaha!
As days went by, our operation progressed. Having to be able to keep in contact with him, we bought a SIM card which cost fucking 15 bucks. In the next conversation, you will be able to see that it has taken a turn and we started to talk much more dirty. Slutty would be much more of a better word. We are offering Sebastian a girl on the silver platter. Too good to be true. That is why you see him asking whether if I am an undercover. News about getting sex online is just such a hot news now. Also, still collecting information about him and pushing the idea that I like playing hard to get.
Here is the second conversation.
I sure am glad you are still reading. I thought you would be bored by now. Haha! Want more? I am sure you will. The next conversation is the start of our operation to lure him out. You can see that sex is the incentive here. He is desperately in need of sex. Us on the other hand, is still playing it cool and sauve. One thing I cannot stand about in this operation is that I have to act stupid. I am suppose to act clueless about sex. Damn it! I know much more than him! As if I need him to tell me about fucking a girl! Fuck him! Getting him to meet us is not easy as he is still on alert to whether I am with the police or not.
Here you go! The third conversation.
Let us not forget the fourth conversation.
By the fourth conversation, we can see his guard is lowering and we are on schedule breaking it down. We are also still coaxing him to meet with us and confirming the time and date. Also, he seems to be on the loose. All he can think about is sex. Sex, sex and more sex. More information about him is gathered. His daughter's name, his name, his wife's. It shows how inhumane he really is. Having such a wonderful family, yet he is here trying to get sex with a 17 year old girl. Such an asshole! However we can feel that he is drifting away from us. That was a period of time when this whole operation has almost came to a halt.
All these while when I was at home chatting, I also met up with other of my friends who are in this operation to think of some evil plan to do to Sebastian when we finally get to meet him this Saturday. We had many different thoughts. At first, we decided that we get him to meet us. We make him wait for hours. Lastly give him a letter from yours truly with insults and vulgarities in it to scold the shit out of him. A while later, we even had the idea of using the "ke lu's" nature of playing hard to get to make him solve riddles and run around Junction 8. Hahaha! Still giving him the letter in the end. However we decided that the latter idea was much too dangerous as we have to come in contact with Sebastian himself.
To say the truth, we were actually quite messed up at that moment. All these while still smsing with Sebastian on the phone. ALthought "ke lu" had mentioned not to call her, Sebastian had called us. He even used another number to sms us. We tried piecing all the relevant sms which Sebastian had sent us with another number. We got some lead. It was indeed Sebastian himself. Obviously he does not know that we are smarter than he is and he blew his cover.
What he did was to sms us with another number and resulted in saying that he smsed the wrong person when I asked who he is. I asked for the intended number that "Sebastian" was smsing, he gave some number which is not in fucking use. Such a lame ass.
Soon, Satuday arrived and we met up. Guess what? THe main lead himself did not turn up! He said he got chicken pox. What the fucking hell! All that preperation and he does not turn up?! It is almost like buying a chicken pie and not seeing any chicken in it! Fuck Sebastian! After that incident, it was getting more obvious that he was drifting further from us. We had no chioce but to reveal a little of our identity. We had Qian Bei call him and talked to him personally. He answered and chatted awhile.
Back home, I went online in search of him again. Almost as though someone up there likes me, Sebastian was online! However, things was not as easy as it seems. I could not hold on to the phone much longer because we had to answer the phone whenever Sebastian called. Qian bei would have to answer so she held the phone with her. Also, his guard against us which we took so much trouble to break it down has been built up again. This time even stronger. Using my wit and sex as the incentive, we still broke down that wall.
The final conversation!
What a fuck ass he is! He wants to have his cake and eat it too! Saying that I am too sticky and stuff! Such a jerk!
Not long later, meeting time and place was confirmed. We went to Junction 8 earlier than usual and wrote the letter that we are going to pass to him. However we could come up with nothing. Panic sets in and we decided to just call him and scold him. Of course making him wait in the meantime. We even got his car plate number and type of car.(It's just too bad that we were not able to get his IC number.) We roamed about the car park in search of his car when he smsed to say he has reached. But could not find his car. It was not later that we found out that he has brought along a friend. What the fucking hell! We saw Sebastian a little while later. He was waiting outside macdonalds.
Note: The pictures you are about to see is horrific and gory. Once again children under sixteen please look away. That goes for the both of my MCs too.
Fei Fei and Hai liang: Yes Wei Xin Kor Kor! I will look away!
This is the picture Sebastian had sent me when we first started chatting on the net.
Yucks! And to think I thought he is some women killer. To think he dares try to trick a girl into bed with that kind of a face.
Here he is waiting for us and eating an ice cream cone outside macdonalds.
He can be seen roaming around after much waiting. He couldn't take it anymore and decided to leave. We had Qian Bei call him and make him stay and he said he thinks he had just been had. How right he was! But no way are we going to let him leave when I have not spoken to him myself. Telling him to meet at a certain destination once again, we called him. This time I spoke to him.
Although I deeply regret not letting the others hear what he says, I could feel that we had won the battle when I spoke to Sebastian. I insulted him on his shameless behaviour and how ugly he looked. Not to mention how stupid he was. Telling him to get a life. I could feel that he felt embarassed at what is happening at the moment because what I was telling him, he could not comprehend and was speaking nonsense. I remember telling him to do something constructive with the time he spends trying to trick girls getting into bed, and he replied with something that up till now which does not make sense.
After the whole incedent, we went to get something to eat and celebrate that the operation was a success. To say it was a huge success would be of an overstatment. So by following these few steps, I can be sure that you can get one pervert to play with and pass your time. Think I'll end it here. I can't think of any other ways to carry on.
Before I go, I would like to take this time and show how stupid a fellow schoolmate of mine is.
It started one day when I was early for a lecture. I went in the lecture hall and there she was. Miss Freshie of my school of business orientation. Mostly she is a very loud(literally) person. Not to mention stupid. Hahah!
The moment I walked into the lecture hall, I could only hear...
"Guys are jerks! Can you tell me why guys are jerks?"
I scanned my eyes across the hall and no guys was there so I realised the question was directed at me. I calmly took a seat and spoke to her across the hall.
"Tell me! Why do you think guys are jerks?"
She replied, "Because they treat females like shit!"
Without a second thought, I said, "That means you girls are shit?"
She looked at me in disbelief and shook her head when saying, "No! Girls are not shit! It is because..."
I couldn't care less and cut her off saying, "Then guys cannot be jerks because you said girls aren't shit. So make up your mind if you want guys to be jerks or not."
That instantly shut her up!
Yay! I win! She is kinda stupid isn't she? Wahahahahah!
Sebastian is such a jerk! If you see him on the street, hesitate not to kick him in the balls for me. I regreted not doing that.
Fei Fei: Is it over already? Can I take my hands off now?
(The part which I mentioned about my stupid schoolmate, it has no insults to females or whatsoever. Nope. I am not a sexist.)
Thank you my two MCs. Indeed this post is the long awaited by many. The post that is gonna change the fate of my blog! ( I don't think it will but I am saying it for the dramatics. ) So long has passed since we last talked about Sebastian. I remembered clearly where we left off. After that incident which my friend had, we decided to contact Sebastian once more and try to trick him. A plan was diviced.
The first stage of the plan was to get someone to hook him up and started to chat with him. I had the honour of doing that, so I created a yahoo account and downloaded yahoo messenger so that I could hook up with him. I was feeling kind of excited and all because this whole project will enable us to meet him if everything goes smoothly.
So that night, I posed as a girl and messaged him in the net. I never knew that hooking him up would be so easy. Once I got to spoke to him, I realised that it was not as easy as I thought it would be.
This was the very first conversation we had.
From that conversation, you can realise that our objective was to dig out as much information about himself and not let him know who we are. Also, there is a tiny hint of me trying to potray that I love playing hard to get. That was to ensure that I do not reveal too much of myself and next time when we chat, I would most probably in control. One thing though, I never realised I could be so slutty on the net. Maybe I should start being a woman instead. Hahahaha!
As days went by, our operation progressed. Having to be able to keep in contact with him, we bought a SIM card which cost fucking 15 bucks. In the next conversation, you will be able to see that it has taken a turn and we started to talk much more dirty. Slutty would be much more of a better word. We are offering Sebastian a girl on the silver platter. Too good to be true. That is why you see him asking whether if I am an undercover. News about getting sex online is just such a hot news now. Also, still collecting information about him and pushing the idea that I like playing hard to get.
Here is the second conversation.
I sure am glad you are still reading. I thought you would be bored by now. Haha! Want more? I am sure you will. The next conversation is the start of our operation to lure him out. You can see that sex is the incentive here. He is desperately in need of sex. Us on the other hand, is still playing it cool and sauve. One thing I cannot stand about in this operation is that I have to act stupid. I am suppose to act clueless about sex. Damn it! I know much more than him! As if I need him to tell me about fucking a girl! Fuck him! Getting him to meet us is not easy as he is still on alert to whether I am with the police or not.
Here you go! The third conversation.
Let us not forget the fourth conversation.
By the fourth conversation, we can see his guard is lowering and we are on schedule breaking it down. We are also still coaxing him to meet with us and confirming the time and date. Also, he seems to be on the loose. All he can think about is sex. Sex, sex and more sex. More information about him is gathered. His daughter's name, his name, his wife's. It shows how inhumane he really is. Having such a wonderful family, yet he is here trying to get sex with a 17 year old girl. Such an asshole! However we can feel that he is drifting away from us. That was a period of time when this whole operation has almost came to a halt.
All these while when I was at home chatting, I also met up with other of my friends who are in this operation to think of some evil plan to do to Sebastian when we finally get to meet him this Saturday. We had many different thoughts. At first, we decided that we get him to meet us. We make him wait for hours. Lastly give him a letter from yours truly with insults and vulgarities in it to scold the shit out of him. A while later, we even had the idea of using the "ke lu's" nature of playing hard to get to make him solve riddles and run around Junction 8. Hahaha! Still giving him the letter in the end. However we decided that the latter idea was much too dangerous as we have to come in contact with Sebastian himself.
To say the truth, we were actually quite messed up at that moment. All these while still smsing with Sebastian on the phone. ALthought "ke lu" had mentioned not to call her, Sebastian had called us. He even used another number to sms us. We tried piecing all the relevant sms which Sebastian had sent us with another number. We got some lead. It was indeed Sebastian himself. Obviously he does not know that we are smarter than he is and he blew his cover.
What he did was to sms us with another number and resulted in saying that he smsed the wrong person when I asked who he is. I asked for the intended number that "Sebastian" was smsing, he gave some number which is not in fucking use. Such a lame ass.
Soon, Satuday arrived and we met up. Guess what? THe main lead himself did not turn up! He said he got chicken pox. What the fucking hell! All that preperation and he does not turn up?! It is almost like buying a chicken pie and not seeing any chicken in it! Fuck Sebastian! After that incident, it was getting more obvious that he was drifting further from us. We had no chioce but to reveal a little of our identity. We had Qian Bei call him and talked to him personally. He answered and chatted awhile.
Back home, I went online in search of him again. Almost as though someone up there likes me, Sebastian was online! However, things was not as easy as it seems. I could not hold on to the phone much longer because we had to answer the phone whenever Sebastian called. Qian bei would have to answer so she held the phone with her. Also, his guard against us which we took so much trouble to break it down has been built up again. This time even stronger. Using my wit and sex as the incentive, we still broke down that wall.
The final conversation!
What a fuck ass he is! He wants to have his cake and eat it too! Saying that I am too sticky and stuff! Such a jerk!
Not long later, meeting time and place was confirmed. We went to Junction 8 earlier than usual and wrote the letter that we are going to pass to him. However we could come up with nothing. Panic sets in and we decided to just call him and scold him. Of course making him wait in the meantime. We even got his car plate number and type of car.(It's just too bad that we were not able to get his IC number.) We roamed about the car park in search of his car when he smsed to say he has reached. But could not find his car. It was not later that we found out that he has brought along a friend. What the fucking hell! We saw Sebastian a little while later. He was waiting outside macdonalds.
Note: The pictures you are about to see is horrific and gory. Once again children under sixteen please look away. That goes for the both of my MCs too.
Fei Fei and Hai liang: Yes Wei Xin Kor Kor! I will look away!
This is the picture Sebastian had sent me when we first started chatting on the net.
Yucks! And to think I thought he is some women killer. To think he dares try to trick a girl into bed with that kind of a face.
Here he is waiting for us and eating an ice cream cone outside macdonalds.
He can be seen roaming around after much waiting. He couldn't take it anymore and decided to leave. We had Qian Bei call him and make him stay and he said he thinks he had just been had. How right he was! But no way are we going to let him leave when I have not spoken to him myself. Telling him to meet at a certain destination once again, we called him. This time I spoke to him.
Although I deeply regret not letting the others hear what he says, I could feel that we had won the battle when I spoke to Sebastian. I insulted him on his shameless behaviour and how ugly he looked. Not to mention how stupid he was. Telling him to get a life. I could feel that he felt embarassed at what is happening at the moment because what I was telling him, he could not comprehend and was speaking nonsense. I remember telling him to do something constructive with the time he spends trying to trick girls getting into bed, and he replied with something that up till now which does not make sense.
After the whole incedent, we went to get something to eat and celebrate that the operation was a success. To say it was a huge success would be of an overstatment. So by following these few steps, I can be sure that you can get one pervert to play with and pass your time. Think I'll end it here. I can't think of any other ways to carry on.
Before I go, I would like to take this time and show how stupid a fellow schoolmate of mine is.
It started one day when I was early for a lecture. I went in the lecture hall and there she was. Miss Freshie of my school of business orientation. Mostly she is a very loud(literally) person. Not to mention stupid. Hahah!
The moment I walked into the lecture hall, I could only hear...
"Guys are jerks! Can you tell me why guys are jerks?"
I scanned my eyes across the hall and no guys was there so I realised the question was directed at me. I calmly took a seat and spoke to her across the hall.
"Tell me! Why do you think guys are jerks?"
She replied, "Because they treat females like shit!"
Without a second thought, I said, "That means you girls are shit?"
She looked at me in disbelief and shook her head when saying, "No! Girls are not shit! It is because..."
I couldn't care less and cut her off saying, "Then guys cannot be jerks because you said girls aren't shit. So make up your mind if you want guys to be jerks or not."
That instantly shut her up!
Yay! I win! She is kinda stupid isn't she? Wahahahahah!
Sebastian is such a jerk! If you see him on the street, hesitate not to kick him in the balls for me. I regreted not doing that.
Fei Fei: Is it over already? Can I take my hands off now?
(The part which I mentioned about my stupid schoolmate, it has no insults to females or whatsoever. Nope. I am not a sexist.)
To celebrate or not to celebrate...
Congratulations Wei Xin, you are...
'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.com
You are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has the potential to offend many people, but of course you don't care, you just shoot. In the end, people either love you or hate you. Nothing in between.
I cannot fucking believe this. I seriously do not know whether to feel honoured or not, but whatever happened to my own personality? I am like XiaXue? What the fucking hell! Although I admire her ability to bring her blog that far, but isn't this just too ridiculous? Argh! I admire her! Not want to be like her! Oh man! I am in living hell!! DANG! I think I rather just commit suicide.
Where has my personality gone to?! Or am I like Xia Xue? Oh my Oh my! Woe is me!
I believe...
I believe that UFO's are just people who are just visiting from the future.
I believe that the human race will one day evolve to look like aliens.
I believe that planets are actually some kind of blood cell in some fucking huge giant.
I believe that black holes allows us to travel to another side of the universe.
I believe that everything in this world is made in duality.
I believe that for every fear, there is a scientific name for it.
I believe that people have the ability to fly.
I believe that after we die, we will feel like we are sleeping for eternity.
I believe that ghost does not exist in this world. (Shan an, that goes for pontianak too.)
I believe that men's will is the strongest power in this world.
I believe that faith is the easiest and hardest thing to break in this world.
I believe that love is the most important thing in everybody's life.
I believe that fortune telling is full of baloney.
I believe that chivalry is something that every guy must know and show.
I believe that English is the mother of all languges in the world.
I believe that homosexuality also happens to animals and insects.
I believe that jellyfish are aliens that did not know how to fly, thus having to live with us for so long.
I believe that rain is when the earth is crying telling us to stop her demise.
I believe that crabs walk sideways because they have forgotten how to walk forward.
I believe that chakra exist.
I believe that anti-matter will bring us far in the near future.
I believe that all kinds of words can be made into an ambigram.
I believe that all will come to an end one day.
I believe... I believe... What are yours?
I believe that the human race will one day evolve to look like aliens.
I believe that planets are actually some kind of blood cell in some fucking huge giant.
I believe that black holes allows us to travel to another side of the universe.
I believe that everything in this world is made in duality.
I believe that for every fear, there is a scientific name for it.
I believe that people have the ability to fly.
I believe that after we die, we will feel like we are sleeping for eternity.
I believe that ghost does not exist in this world. (Shan an, that goes for pontianak too.)
I believe that men's will is the strongest power in this world.
I believe that faith is the easiest and hardest thing to break in this world.
I believe that love is the most important thing in everybody's life.
I believe that fortune telling is full of baloney.
I believe that chivalry is something that every guy must know and show.
I believe that English is the mother of all languges in the world.
I believe that homosexuality also happens to animals and insects.
I believe that jellyfish are aliens that did not know how to fly, thus having to live with us for so long.
I believe that rain is when the earth is crying telling us to stop her demise.
I believe that crabs walk sideways because they have forgotten how to walk forward.
I believe that chakra exist.
I believe that anti-matter will bring us far in the near future.
I believe that all kinds of words can be made into an ambigram.
I believe that all will come to an end one day.
I believe... I believe... What are yours?
I am finally free!
Let us all celebrate! ICA is finally over and my term break is coming soon! Yay! Rejoice! I heard that Singapore is going to hold a blogger convention! I cannot wait for it to happen!
Term break is going to start on the 13th of june and it lasts for two weeks. Sigh~! Feeling bored these few days and I am currently looking for new people to talk to! Anyone just drop me a mail ok? Or add me on msn. I will try and entertain you if you are not so mean. Haha! ICA results for Oral Communications will be revealed on Friday! Man! Wonder how I did? Who cares? All my speeches are impromtu. So what's new about that? Haha!
I am actually kinda mad at something now. I heard from my friend that SquareEnix has sold the right to produce Final Fantasy series to X-Box. Damn! What in the hell are they thinking?! What am I going to do? I cannot possibly afford an X-Box! Fuck SquareEnix! Argh! Somebody buy me an X-Box will ya? Pretty please?
Looks like I will be able to blog more often now and I will be marking an end for the epic of Sebastian by blogging about it some time soon. So just be patient and wait for it. I am waiting for some pictures before I can proceed on. Think I will sign off now. So long~!
I am in need of some source of entertainment. Can somebody just drop me a mail? I will even reply you if it is a hate mail. Serious!
Term break is going to start on the 13th of june and it lasts for two weeks. Sigh~! Feeling bored these few days and I am currently looking for new people to talk to! Anyone just drop me a mail ok? Or add me on msn. I will try and entertain you if you are not so mean. Haha! ICA results for Oral Communications will be revealed on Friday! Man! Wonder how I did? Who cares? All my speeches are impromtu. So what's new about that? Haha!
I am actually kinda mad at something now. I heard from my friend that SquareEnix has sold the right to produce Final Fantasy series to X-Box. Damn! What in the hell are they thinking?! What am I going to do? I cannot possibly afford an X-Box! Fuck SquareEnix! Argh! Somebody buy me an X-Box will ya? Pretty please?
Looks like I will be able to blog more often now and I will be marking an end for the epic of Sebastian by blogging about it some time soon. So just be patient and wait for it. I am waiting for some pictures before I can proceed on. Think I will sign off now. So long~!
I am in need of some source of entertainment. Can somebody just drop me a mail? I will even reply you if it is a hate mail. Serious!
The crazy things Basin kor kor did with his friends.
The trio: Hi!!!! We are back! Did you miss us? We are here to document Wei Xin kor kor's private life. Haha! Maybe not, but perhaps the things he does on an outing with his bunch of friends. Wei Xin kor kor brought some ice cream for us today. It wasn't the usual brand we often it. It was some *ugh!* cheap brand! Wei Xin kor kor! Bring us some better quality ice cream or else we stop being your MCs.
Hai Xiang: I want Haggen Daz Strawberry ice cream!
Fei Fei: I want Ben's and Jerry's Chocholate Fudge ice cream!
Conrad: And I want Movenpick ice cream!
Fei Fei: Let us hurry and get to the main point. So we can get our ice cream! Thank you for the cheap ice cream anyway Wei Xin kor kor. But don't pull the same stunt ever again ok?
Hai Xiang: Here are some pictures to show you how disgusting the ice cream was.
Fei Fei: Haha! Was it really that terrible? You look like you are crying.
Hai Xiang: If you think so. Take a look at this!
Conrad: Hahah! This is a riot! Fei Fei, whatever happened to you? What is with that expression?
Fei Fei: Do you know how difficult it is to smile when you are eating something disgusting? And my dad was forcing me to smile for this picture and this is the best I can do. What about you?
Hai Xiang: You seem mighty happy!
Conrad: Nah! I was taken aback when Wei Xin kor kor handed me the cone. I was thinking, "What an inferior quality product!" So I look kind of surprised instead of happy.
Fei Fei: Enough already! Wei Xin kor kor paid us not to talk about his lousy ice cream but to be his MCs. So why not let us get down to business and get it over and done with?
Hai Xiang: It seems that just Wei Xin kor kor has been hanging out with his friends on friday. I heard from someone that they went round doing crazy stuff. But they sure had some fun! How I wished I could go joined them.
Conrad: Why not let us take a look at the pictures they took?
Fei Fei: Look at where Wei Xin kor kor friend has her finger stuck up at! Haha! Next!
Fei Fei: It seems like Wei Xin kor kor wants the mascot of KFC to "act cute".
Hai Xiang: The next one is my favourite! It was so coincidental that one of his friends had the same hairstyle as the pencil box Picture! Haha!
Conrad: Haha! It sure is such a coincidence! Oh dear! Look at the time! It is time for our nap! Look at Fei Fei! He is falling asleep!
Hai Xiang: Pssst! *Harsh whisper* Fei Fei! Wake up! Everyone is looking at you!
Fei Fei: zzzzZZZZZ!
Hai Xiang: Sigh~! Does this count as sleeping on the job?
What great friends I have! being able to play along with my whim whams! Love them all!
We are the MCs for long time to come!
Hi there! *Everyone waves frantically*
"I am Hai Xiang!" (From the left)
"I am Hai Liang. Everyone calls me Fei Fei! I don't know why. *Shrugs*" (Center)
"And I am Conrad! Shut up! Don't tell me I am named after a hotel! The hotel was named after me!" (From the right)
Hai Xiang: Basin kor kor has... ooops... I meant Wei Xin kor kor has signed a contract with us to be MCs for his blog. It took him three visits to our house like what Liu Bei did and we gave in. Luckily everytime he came, he has ice cream with him or else I would have made him kneel outside and beg us. Heh heh!
Fei Fei: Yea! He brought the ice cream because I threaten to tell his secret which was that he once...
Conrad: Oei! Shut up lah! We promised not to tell! You better not cost us our lifetime supply of ice cream. Anyways, do not mind him. I have given him a slap Basin kor ko... I meant Wei Xin kor kor. We will do our best and bring laughter to everyone who sees our cute faces. Just bring more ice cream next time ok? I hate having to play scissors paper stone with those two to eat the ice cream. It seems like they can read my mind. Either that or they are conspiring against me!
Fei Fei and Hai Xiang: *Giggles*
Hai Xiang: We are the MCs so you people will be seeing us more often now. Basi... Wei Xin kor kor is busy these few days so he will not be blogging often but do check back yeah? I am sure you will want to see us more.
Fei Fei: Yeah! I am sure the Yilin jie jie would want to see me again! Hello Yilin jie jie! I am on a blog! I am famous now!
Conrad: Hey! Don't waste too much air time lah! Wei Xin kor kor has to study now. This post is just to introduce us remember?
The trio: Do remember to tune in and check back with us ok? But before we sign off, let us do some photo-whoring! Love it!
Fei Fei: That is me! Peeling orange for my Ah ma! She loves me best!
Hai Xiang: Yeah right! *Rolls eyes*
Hai Xiang: That is my daddy there! Oh yeah! Fei Fei is my brother. He ain't heavy, he's my brother... *Sings*
Conrad: And that is me! Cute anot? *Smiles sheepishly*
The trio: So long! Bye for now! See you people soon!
P.s: All the characters used in this post were never hurt in any other way except for the pinching of their cheeks because they are just soooooooo cuuute!!
"I am Hai Xiang!" (From the left)
"I am Hai Liang. Everyone calls me Fei Fei! I don't know why. *Shrugs*" (Center)
"And I am Conrad! Shut up! Don't tell me I am named after a hotel! The hotel was named after me!" (From the right)
Hai Xiang: Basin kor kor has... ooops... I meant Wei Xin kor kor has signed a contract with us to be MCs for his blog. It took him three visits to our house like what Liu Bei did and we gave in. Luckily everytime he came, he has ice cream with him or else I would have made him kneel outside and beg us. Heh heh!
Fei Fei: Yea! He brought the ice cream because I threaten to tell his secret which was that he once...
Conrad: Oei! Shut up lah! We promised not to tell! You better not cost us our lifetime supply of ice cream. Anyways, do not mind him. I have given him a slap Basin kor ko... I meant Wei Xin kor kor. We will do our best and bring laughter to everyone who sees our cute faces. Just bring more ice cream next time ok? I hate having to play scissors paper stone with those two to eat the ice cream. It seems like they can read my mind. Either that or they are conspiring against me!
Fei Fei and Hai Xiang: *Giggles*
Hai Xiang: We are the MCs so you people will be seeing us more often now. Basi... Wei Xin kor kor is busy these few days so he will not be blogging often but do check back yeah? I am sure you will want to see us more.
Fei Fei: Yeah! I am sure the Yilin jie jie would want to see me again! Hello Yilin jie jie! I am on a blog! I am famous now!
Conrad: Hey! Don't waste too much air time lah! Wei Xin kor kor has to study now. This post is just to introduce us remember?
The trio: Do remember to tune in and check back with us ok? But before we sign off, let us do some photo-whoring! Love it!
Fei Fei: That is me! Peeling orange for my Ah ma! She loves me best!
Hai Xiang: Yeah right! *Rolls eyes*
Hai Xiang: That is my daddy there! Oh yeah! Fei Fei is my brother. He ain't heavy, he's my brother... *Sings*
Conrad: And that is me! Cute anot? *Smiles sheepishly*
The trio: So long! Bye for now! See you people soon!
P.s: All the characters used in this post were never hurt in any other way except for the pinching of their cheeks because they are just soooooooo cuuute!!