Bus Etiquette

Yes... Today's class will be on bus etiquette... How many people know what the meaning of etiquette is? (*Scans the room for volunteers*) Ok... Looks like no one wanna volunteer... It means the rules of correct behavior in social life or among members of a profession... Those who got it correct, give yourself a pat on the back... Those who got it wrong... You know what to do... Get a stiletto heels and slap yourself...

Getting on... Let me give you all an account I had... It happened just not quite long ago... I was waiting for bus 105 at Toa Payoh central... It was then already in the evening about 6 plus... I saw the bus came and I boarded it... God! It was so damn crowded... So I had to Squeeze past people and scanned my card on the reader... At that time, it was not so bad... I could at least breathe...

Nightmare started... The bus came to a screeching stop and it jerked... I kinda banged into a female... Hard... (Actually, she quite pretty... *wink* My apologies lady...) I think she is nearing 30 years of age... ( I know... You'll understand why later...) She voiced her pain out loud... then came the vicious stare... I was at a lost then... Realizing that I hit her, I apologized loudly too... Still she was not really satisfied with my apology and continued staring... I turned my head away and ignored her or else I would have argued with her... That averted disaster... Then a few stops later, she alighted... still staring at me when she got off the bus... This time... I gave her mine...

I thought everything has ended but no... Fate has a different plan in mind... In came the next great influx of people... This time the bus is really crowded... I doubt I had space to fall again... There was this fat lady this time... Standing near the first row of seats (the seats that faces each other...) Then behind me, the great influx of people... I thought the fat lady would move to the back of the bus... Heck no! She stood there like she was guarding the seats... The bus driver had to stand up and shouted for people to move to the back... I tried... But to no avial because the fat lady is blocking me!! Argh! The bus started to move again... Soon came the next bus stop... Again more people is filling the bus... This time, quite a few people at the back of the bus alighted... and at the middle of the bus there is this huge space... Again, the bus driver had to shout for people to move to the back... This fat lady acted like she could not hear and did not budge... I was trapped and I tried to make myself small so people could pass me and the lady to get to the space... Now the bus is seriously packed... It is like people in sardin's can... And to top it off, the fat lady held the ring which is quite high for her height... This made her stretched her arm... My god... I can practically smell her arm pit! Disgusting... I held my breath, turning my head the other way... Luckily my stop was next or I would have died in her arm pit... (not hands)

This was one of the worst ride I had in a long time...

Note to fat lady: Do remember to move to the end of the bus... The bus driver had to shout twice... also when boarding, below the scanning device, there is a sign that says move to the end of the bus... It is either you are blind or you are just an ignorant person... I seriously hope that something happens to you so that you will learn... Perhaps something like... Having the bus driver come right up to you and shout in your ear to move to the back or having to fall on the steps while boarding the bus so you can read the sign below...

So, people... do remeber to be kind and courteous when you are on a bus... Do that and people will treat you the same way... (there will be some exceptions of cos...)

Now you all wanna know why I can tell the age of the lady mentioned above....

~~~~~~~~ Guide to girl watching in bus ~~~~~~~~

1. Always sit at the seat which faces the back of the bus... There are better things to see than Tv Moblie, unless it is showing some R(A) move...

2. To prevent from females knowing that you are staring at them, get those sunglasses where people cannot see your eyes or get those really dark shades...

3. Do not... I repeat... DO NOT look straight into their eyes... Always look far behind them... Act like you are looking behind them...

4. Look at them with small dosages... Do not be an idiot and stare at them like they at maimed or they have their privates on their face...

5. Lastly... Act smart and do not act like a love sick puppy that believes in love at first sight... It never happens...

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There are better things to see than TV moblie...